


cause they ask me if i still think about you (only all the time)

by sebvettels



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, One-sided MAYBE, Pining, boy(s) in love, takes place right after monaco '18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebvettels/pseuds/sebvettels
Summary: an insight of max's feelings after monaco





	cause they ask me if i still think about you (only all the time)

Max’s weekend had gone from great to shitty swiftly before he even managed to take it all in. He knew he blew his chance for a podium when he crashed his car right before qualy started. Somehow, he succeeded in bringing some points home, considering the fact that he had to start from the back of the grid. However, the feeling of hollowness had made itself at home inside his heart. And now after the race ended, he found himself faced with Christian’s comforting words which only made him felt so small and eleven all over again, inadequate and pathetic.

 

“Well, you know, it’s just really painful,” Max stated, eyes pointing down to his feet.

 

Christian nodded in understanding, he knew how hard it must have been for his young driver. Nevertheless, Max was young and many things were coming for him, of that Christian was sure.

 

“It’ll come,” Christian began, and Max just nodded mechanically, before continuing, “You know. So, be happy for your teammate today.” 

 

Max whipped his head up, an offended look on his face, how could anyone think he wasn’t happy for Daniel’s win? Daniel deserved his win today and with the uncertainty surrounding his future, Max was glad that Daniel managed to prove a lot of people, including his own team, wrong.

 

Christian still went on, oblivious to Max’s reaction, “Celebrate with him and be happy for him.”

 

Max sighed internally and composed himself, “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

 

Christian patted Max’s knee before he left and Max smiled weakly at the gesture. There was nothing he wanted more than to leave the garage and headed back to his home, but then again, he had promised Christian to go celebrate with the others. _And_ , the tiny part of his brain whispered, _you want to see Daniel, aren’t you?_

 

An annoyed Max huffed, _shut up_. 

 

* * *

 

A freshly-showered Max joined the party, making his way to Daniel who was still in his race suit. A part of him couldn’t help but smile at Daniel’s expression, the shining delight in his eyes and how his eyes lightened up when Max approached him. Max’s heart swelled and he tried to force the feelings down, _conceal, don’t feel_ , the logical part of his brain said.

 

“Congrats, man,” Max uttered to the other man when they were face to face, skipping greetings and pleasantries altogether. His nerves were frayed when he found himself to be the focus of Daniel’s attention, but he carried on, “Those last laps must have been nerve-wracking.” 

 

Daniel laughed and Max trying not to gawk in awe at Daniel’s joyful expression. But, Daniel, oblivious as he was, only retorted in a cheery tone, “You have no idea at all, mate.”

 

Max only shrugged his shoulder as an answer and Daniel just continued talking and they both laughed and talked with Christian looking on fondly. It was after a few minutes of talking before Daniel’s tone became less light, “Thought you weren’t going to come here, though.” 

 

Max straightened up and stared at Daniel whose face remained jovial, but his smile was dimmer than before and his eyes were darker, more intense. The silence lasted a beat too long and Max gulped, unable to articulate any words to better explain himself. But, Daniel’s eyes suddenly turned soft and he grinned, “It’s okay. Just enjoy the party,” before he patted Max on the shoulder and made his way to the boisterous crowd. 

 

The moment Daniel left, Max’s throat was unclogged and he took a hasty lungful of air. He had come and he had congratulated Daniel’s on his win, it was enough, _it had to be enough_. There was no need to continue torturing himself with the squeezing feeling on his heart if he stayed any longer. He tried to make his way out, murmuring ineligible excuses under his breath to people he encountered. When he was almost out of the place, Max risked a glance backward, witnessing the moment Daniel’s body hit the water and the excited shouts accompanying it. For a fleeting moment, he wanted to stay and celebrate Daniel’s win with the others. Max shook his head swiftly, trying to banish the thought away. But, no matter how hard he tried, the feeling lingered long after he had left.

 

**Author's Note:**

> given the lack of content during the break, i never thought i can write anything but here i am instead of doing my homework. ugh i just finished the first 5 episodes of drive to survive and i saw that scene in monaco so yeah and after watching it i kinda thought maybe they're not as close as what many people seem to think but idk i'm just being confusing just hopefully you like it


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